Inktober 2026 - 27 - Dumb

Gerard and Ernest were sitting face to face, at a table outside a fast food restaurant. The former had chips and a burger in front of him, while the latter was poking at a slice of pizza, deep in thought.

“Ger’, am I dumb?” Ernest asked eventually.

“Of course not. I can hear you just fine.”

“You know what I mean…”

Gerard’s shoulders slumped. He sighed and wiped the salt of his hands by rubbing them against each other.

“Where is this coming from?”

“My entire life so far?”

This answer made Ger’ clench his jaws; he hated the way the world treated his best friend.

“Ern’, as hard as it is to remember sometimes, we are not the way people see us. And even if we were, I don’t think you’re dumb, so there.”

“I do dumb things.”

“So do I. Everybody does. That doesn’t necessarily make us intrinsically stupid.”

“But I’m not smart, either.”

“Neither am I! We’re each clever in our own way, that’s all there is to it. We literally run a private investigation business together; I wouldn’t do that if I thought you were dead weight.”

“Maybe you pity me. You must have pitied me a little when we met, in middle school.”

“That’s just ridiculous. I saw a scrawny kid being harassed by a bunch of munch bigger ones, and I didn’t like that. And you weren’t letting it happen to you either, so I had no reason to feel bad for you. You held your own. Besides, there is no correlation between intelligence and being bullied.”

“You could do this job without me, but I couldn’t do it without you.”

“Even if that weren’t blatantly false, that wouldn’t mean you’re an idiot, Ern’!”

Annoyed, Ger’ grabbed a chip in the cardboard basket in front of him and threw it at his friend. He failed to catch it, obviously, but that got a smile out of him, at least.

“Listen to me, Ernest: you think like nobody else I’ve ever met. Your brain works in mysterious wonderful ways, and those that don’t see that as amazing are the dumb ones. Do you hear me?”

“Thanks, Ger’.”

“You’re very welcome.”

They went back to their meal. The slice of pizza was finally gnawed at, and the last few bites of the burger got swallowed up. Gerard then pushed the pack of chips between them so they could share the last ones. He desperately wanted to go back to his first question, about where this was all coming from, but he knew Ernest would never tell. He had been the one to go get their food inside, so there was a good chance that he had heard something in there that had made him question himself the way he just had. The two of them were somewhat recognisable, so it was possible that a patron had had a comment about them. That he would spare his feelings when his own were so evidently hurt was just further proof that he was anything but dumb.