Inktober 2025 - 25 - Inferno

"License and registration?"

"Argh!"

A second ago, he was just crossing the threshold of his kitchen in the middle of the night, craving a glass of water. And now, he was surrounded by tall flames, facing what he could only describe as a red-skinned goblin behind a counter, looking at him from above a pair of half-moon glasses on its nose.

"Oh, come on, man! Let me have this. You guys don't have the monopoly on bad jokes, you know…" grumbled the imp.

"Wh… Where… What…" mumbled the reluctant visitor, terrified.

He did look frantically around him for an escape, but it was just fire all around. The bespectacled gnome's shoulders slumped, as if he were disappointed.

"Dang it. Let me guess: you went through a door in your apartment and ended up here without knowing how?"

"Er… yes?"

"Boss! We've got another one!" yelled the devilish little creature over his shoulder.

"Send him in," answered a booming voice from across the wall of flames behind the counter.

"Right this way, sir. Don't worry, it is all going to be all right."

The imp gestured towards an opening in the blaze, and the intruder was still too scared to protest, so he obeyed. He went through the makeshift doorway and had to hold back a whimper as it closed back behind him.

"Hello, and welcome to our neck of the woods. My apologies for the inconvenience, but do not worry, what just happened to you happens… well, I wouldn't say all the time, but it happens."

The man who had just spoken was very tall, with skin just as read as his assistant. He had two pairs of horns on his head, and was sitting at a desk.

"Now, tell me, what can I do for you?"

"I don't…"

"Look, it's customary for us to provide compensation when someone gets unduly sent here without reason. You haven't requested a meeting and you haven't been cursed by anyone else or we'd know, so it's obviously a cosmic mistake. Just ask for something, and then we'll send you on your way. Sounds good?"

"What's the price?"

"No price, no catch. You didn't ask for a deal, so I am not authorised to offer you one. How about a piece of jewellery? Hellfire makes one hell of a steel. A ring, perhaps?"

"I'm not really the jewels kind of guy."

"I see… How about a hellhound puppy then? They are forever adorable and won't ever leave your soul alone."

"I'm more of a cat person."

"Oh, trust me, you do NOT want a hellcat. We have those but… Let's just say we're not making that mistake again."

"I just wanted a glass of water," he whined, still very much afraid.

"Please, be serious. Does it look like there is or could be any water around here?"

"I guess not."

"Besides, you're just going to be able to get one when we send you back. Which we cannot do until we have settle the score with you. So, what will it be?"