Inktober 2025 - 29 - Lesson

An old man is sitting in a rocking chair on his porch, scribbling on a sudoku grid with a pencil, as a younger man comes to sit next to him.

"Dad. Can I ask you a question?"

The older man looks up from his puzzle, above his glasses, to his son.

"Sure."

"How did you know what to do with me?"

"What sort of question is that?"

The son clicks his tongue, annoyed at this response.

"Seriously? Pretty much every conversation we have ever had, as far back as I can remember, no matter how benign it started, ended up in a lecture, and now that I'm actually asking for advice, you're just going to play dumb?"

"Is that really how you view our relationship?"

"Will you please stop answering my questions with more questions! It doesn't matter. That's not what I want to get into right now."

"I would answer with a statement if I had one to give, but I'm not sure I understand what you're asking, exactly."

The younger man looks away and sighs.

"God knows we don't agree on everything, far from it, but I still feel like you properly guided me into adulthood. You lead me to critical thinking, and good morals, and I want to do that for the little man that is going to come out of my wife in a couple of months."

The grandfather-to-be raises his eyebrows in astonishment at this heartfelt statement.

"Well, that you want to is a good start. But I'm sorry to tell you that I had and still have no playbook. I did my best, and that was it."

"I can't believe that. If it were that easy, nobody would have shitty parents."

The old man laughs.

"Such a strong endorsement! But in all seriousness, I really just winged it. I knew deep down that beating you into submission would either have the opposite effect or have terrible consequences even if it didn't, on top of the fact that I would never have had the heart for it. I also thought bribing or coddling you would not be a long-term solution. So… I guess I lead by example."

"What do you mean?"

"I did not go into fatherhood thinking of all the specific things I was going to teach you. Mostly, what I did was just watch you like a hawk. And, when you were confronted with something, I explained to you my reasoning behind how I thought you should handle it. I felt it would be better for you to come to the correct conclusion on your own rather than give you the answer straight away. I thought it would stick better."

"Historically, I haven't always come to the same conclusion as you, Dad."

"And neither of us will ever know which one of us is right, in any instance. What I do not doubt, however, is that we are both doing what we think and feel is best."